Tuesday, May 23, 2006

'Fun' Stories From Russia

I came across this English language website from Russia called 'Funreports' via Pravda.ru. As you might have gathered from the title, the website is dedicated to uncovering amusing and ridiculous headlines from Russia and around the world that would fall in the 'oddly enough' category. If you think you have a dark sense of humour then take a look at these stories. I suspect only a Russian could fully appreciate the humour in some of these stories. Put it this way, if one was looking for some good one liners you could probably do worse than a Russian gallows ;-) It's pretty amusing to read these absurd stories being told to you in not so perfect English. Here are some of the more interesting stories I came across while perusing their website. I'm posting the actual title of the story as they wrote it:

Cat rapes woman after performing oral sex on her

Cow and bull have animal sex in office supplies shop

Russian commando smashes bottles on his head and falls asleep on the 24th

Man carries embryo of his brother under scapula for 35 years

British spy caught on tape masturbating on a stone-like transmitter

German cannibal wants to eat all of Rammstein rockers

Black babes lose their African spirit and attraction in Moscow

Man with a bottle of vodka falls through the ice but never lets vodka drown

Kevin Costner's male organ frightens his masseuse

Actually, after looking over these titles, dark, vulgar, and sex-obsessed seems to be a more accurate description. Good stuff from Russia. I think I'm beginning to understand why the Soviet Union collapsed ;-)

Pravda also has some crazy-assed links as well. Here's an entire webpage from their features section entitled 'some people can live well with knives and nails in the heads'. My favorite is the story of Arthur Javanyan who survived having a knife plunged into his face by a drunken 'friend'. This was my favorite line from the story:
The young man is not going to file a police report against his treacherous friend. He said that he would settle scores with him later.

Talk about the 'Wild East' ;-) For obvious reasons, the 'Russian character' seems to contain a very morose and cynical streak to it. They say that humour is one of the most culturally specific aspects of a society...after reading this post some of you will no doubt agree.

P.S. A totally unrelated but interesting point about Pravda. If you think mainstream media outlets expressing vitriolic anti-American sentiment is confined to the Middle East you're sorely mistaken. Check out this section of Pravda entitled The eyes of Donald Rumsfeld are watching the world. You'll find some blisteringly negative, and even somewhat paranoid, opinion on the US here.


Blogger Oleksa said...

The young man is not going to file a police report against his treacherous friend. He said that he would settle scores with him later.

I've found a Russian version of the report (though remarkably not at the Pravda.ru website itself) and it presents a slightly different ending:
[translation mine] "the victim refused to file a police report, explaining that he's just happy to be alive."

11:42 PM  
Blogger A. Shah said...

Thanks for the translation from the Russian version of the story. No other comments on the post? :)

3:50 AM  
Blogger Oleksa said...

I understand why you find it so amusing – in comparison Canadian journalism can so dull sometimes! But actually this is one of the main traits of the new Russian journalism – a spicy mixture of sensationalist, low-brow tabloid content with supposedly ‘analytical’ political stuff, which is often no better in quality. In the Soviet Union, censorship was not only political. Anything unsavory wouldn’t be published either but in modern Russia squalor knows no bounds. The example they followed initially was British tabloid journalism. But at the same time, you won’t find much of serious political stuff in the Sun etc. However, Russian online and print media are quite happy to mix the two.

7:28 PM  
Blogger A. Shah said...

Those innovative Russians! Anarchy has its benefits ;-)

9:05 PM  

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